Don't break up with your boy- or girlfriend...
- Because he looks at other women. (If he doesn't, and he's not blind, he's either gay or dead.)
- Because she is a high-powered attorney.
- Because his dad owns the town you live in.
- Because she does every single thing you say.
- Because he makes you breakfast, but the eggs aren't quite perfect.
- Because she drives a Porsche.
- Because he doesn't like your sister.
- Because she doesn't wear underwear.
- Because he shows no interest in your girlfriends.
- Because her mom is your dad's boss.
- Because your BFF thinks he is not interesting.
- Because she lives in a much better neighborhood than yours.
- Because he likes shopping.
- Because she doesn't like shopping.
- Because everyone admires him when he dances.
- Because all heads turn toward her when she enters a room.
- Because he is too free with his money.
- Because she is a Yoga master and contortionist.
- Because he makes the bed and folds his clothes.
- Because she has a ninth degree black belt in Karate.
- Because he is too kind.
- Because she is too calm.
- Because he never criticizes you.
- Because she never nags you.
- Because he buys you things you did not ask for.
- Because he has interests other than you.
- Because she reads books.
- Because he knows all the best places to have a serious and thoughtful discussion.
- Because she knows all the best places to enjoy outdoor sex.
- Because he can pick a great wine.
- Because she likes beer.
- Because he sews.
- Because she is better at your favorite sport than you are.
- Because he's too clean.
- Because she's too dirty.